Salad is Incompatible with Life
Yes, my waist is fifty inches -
Big for me because I'm short.
And yes, I like my cheddar cheese
When partnered with a vintage port.
Okay, okay, that double cream
Is always served with pud,
And cake and biscuits with my tea
Are just no bloody good
For my poor hardened arteries.
But see my point of view,
Please dear wifey if you please -
A Salad makes me spew!
I'd rather eat a bowl of air
Than crunch away on greens;
Drink water from the toilet bowl
Or nibble on my jeans!
But salad! Are you there?
You know it makes me snappy -
So let me fill my face with grub,
Stay fat, and die young happy!
Copyright Mark R Slaughter 2009
Yes, my waist is fifty inches -
Big for me because I'm short.
And yes, I like my cheddar cheese
When partnered with a vintage port.
Okay, okay, that double cream
Is always served with pud,
And cake and biscuits with my tea
Are just no bloody good
For my poor hardened arteries.
But see my point of view,
Please dear wifey if you please -
A Salad makes me spew!
I'd rather eat a bowl of air
Than crunch away on greens;
Drink water from the toilet bowl
Or nibble on my jeans!
But salad! Are you there?
You know it makes me snappy -
So let me fill my face with grub,
Stay fat, and die young happy!
Copyright Mark R Slaughter 2009
HA, YES! I feel the same about salad, just saying 'salad' or 'diet' makes me want to eat candy ;))))
ReplyDeleteLol... very funny and I do know how he feels... I'm all for the puddings.
ReplyDeleteBingo!
ReplyDeletehahahahhaha too funny! Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDelete... so off I go for my chocolate... tralalalala
i love it, love it, love it. my former father in law said salad was rabbit food, ahhahha. great post barbara.
ReplyDeleteYa'll are soooo funny! Thank you Yolo, Kate, Mike, Jonie, and Lorilynn! :)))
ReplyDeleteWonderfully funny!
ReplyDeleteYes, Mark's poetic subject matter is quite eclectic! Thank you, Neva! :)
ReplyDeleteAw c'mon. Salad isn't all that bad! I enjoy one every year or so.
ReplyDelete"I enjoy one every year or so." Hahahahaha!! Very funny, Terry! Thanks for stopping by! :))
ReplyDeleteLOL LOL I sure smiled reading the Salad poem. Salad is good; however, I am a cookie monster. Great image and poem to go with. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Anna! :))
ReplyDelete